ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
our cab driver is having phone sex.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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