maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
