Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
