3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
