I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I will be naked everywhere
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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