im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
