You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You're like the curious george of whores
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
