It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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