from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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