You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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