Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She's the barista slut.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Boobs are out for the taking
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Randomize
