I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
