Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
