Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
