Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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