am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Randomize
