My first STD was from a foam party
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
