It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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