We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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