FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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