he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
