dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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