do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
