so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
