it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
