I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
