The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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