I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
