Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
