i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
