her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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