is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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