shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize