dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
COCAINE IS GR8
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize