dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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