what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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