Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry yeayeayeahhhhh hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality

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(253): View more from Washington

dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool

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(201): View more from New Jersey

even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile

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(818): View more from California

...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?

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(253): View more from Washington

I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.

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(520): View more from Arizona

He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

This might be the worst thing you've ever done.

(281): View more from Texas

Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.

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