The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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