The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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