so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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