Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
