Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
