So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
