I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
