well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
