I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
