ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
