Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
