just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
It's never too late to be topless.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
