I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
