Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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