So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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