So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
