it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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