I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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