i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
