If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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