the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
