it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
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