What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
