I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Randomize
