it was like eating out sand paper
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
