Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I need to stop coming to work sober
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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