For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You made out with two different species that night
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
